Today I decided that a real grown-up has friends who are going through some of the same things and who a real grown-up can talk to and draw strength from. I also decided that I don’t feel like a real grown-up for just that reason. Somewhere along the way I let go of telling the truth because the truth became unpleasant and now I can’t do it anymore. I can’t even tell myself the truth or assess my own feelings. It’s like I am emotionally dead. Interesting. I feel like I am looking at myself from the outside. Who is that crazy fat girl?